Sunday, September 28, 2008

Friday, September 26, 2008

FBO: 'Answers Eternal Negativity of FBO with Questions?'


Now consider this closet classic, recorded atop the same hill in Melnik in 2006.

FBO Admin
Mobile HQ -- Plovdiv, Bulgaria

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

FBO: 'Tributes Poetry/Rant'

It hurts us to say so! But we missed the first birthday of the greatest poem ever uttered in all orange.

On Sept 22, 2007, Mike Gundy -- the 40-year-old coach of Oklahoma State's football team -- let loose after a close win. If you haven't seen the following get ready for beauty; if you have, you haven't enough.

Please watch:

A few things to note:

* Mike's introduction is the most under-rated part of this, or any other dialogue. 'This was brought to me by a mother, of children.'
* This off-the-cuff rant apparently came moments after he learned about the offensive, and perhaps accurate, article. (The player in question -- Bobby Reid -- left the team shortly thereafter, and is already at odds with his new one.)
* The length is the same as 'Hey Ya!' -- perhaps the best pop song of the last 15 years.
* The following week's press conference Gundy brought his young son.
* The next week, when the author asked specifically wasn't true or accurate, he never answered.

FBO Admin
Mobile HQ -- Plovdiv, Bulgaria

Sunday, September 21, 2008

FBO: 'Three Important Messages'

FBO Admin
Mobile HQ -- Sofia, Bulgaria

Saturday, September 20, 2008

FBO: 'Explaining the Poem from Bulgaria'

In the Failed Bands of Oklahoma's ongoing efforts to increase the transparency behind artistic/creative decision-making -- along with a steadily rising backlash against the poem -- the FBO offers this explanation behind the eight lines:

FBO Admin
Mobile HQ -- Sofia, Bulgaria

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

FBO: 'It's Time for a Poem'

Here is a poem from Bulgaria:

FBO Admin
Mobile HQ -- Veliko Tarnovo, Bulgaria

Friday, September 12, 2008

FBO: 'Discovers Heavy Metal Capital'

Heavy metal never died, it just went to East Europe. A few years ago, while traveling across the Russian Far East, I kept spotting Dio promos in places like the Theatre of Musical Comedy in Khabarovsk, and learned the five-foot-plus singer was starting his tour in a place gulag labourers agonized to build seven decades ago. This year in Vladivostok, I dropped by a snooty CD store to ask about local bands, and a giant blond guy handed me a band called 'Masters of Defecation.' 'It is death metal, very hard.'

Nothing beats Kavarna, Bulgaria though -- perhaps the heart of the heavy metal world. It's a crummy place, with aged housing blocks sweeping down a dramatic cliffside setting to a crummy beach. The sea name? Black of course. It jumped onto the heavy metal map when a headbanging mayor delivered, apparently, on his campaign promises by launching the Kaliakra Rock Fest, an annual three-day metal fest named for a dramatic cape nearby dotted with remains of Thracian and Roman forts.

This year Manowar, Alice Cooper and Slayer headlined the nights.

In town, the main road passes communist-era housing blocks with a twist. The murals of 'workers power!' have been whitewashed and replaced with full images of a few Bulgarian metal singers in the process of a fist-pump, plus Billy Idol ('Mony Mony' era). This is a town where John Lawton -- singer from Uriah Heep and a Rock Fest regular -- is more of a household name than David Beckham or Vladimir Putin.

There is more than your average share of turreted rooftops -- essential for warding off dragons I hear. Down by a rather crappy beach lined with old buildings, some out of use, is a grey silo re-fashioned into a castle.

--> The FBO would like to invite the planners of Kavarna Rock Fest to a FBO-planning seminar in Varna tomorrow, or in Brooklyn on October 2, to discuss the FBO Panhandle Show.

FBO Admin
Mobile HQ -- Varna, Bulgaria

Sunday, September 07, 2008

FBO: 'Oklahoma Rock Song Contest Snubs the Failed'

Over the next two-and-a-half months, an open vote -- by Oklahomans and non-Oklahomans -- will determine the official Oklahoma Rock Song, which will be presented to the Oklahoma legislature in 2009.

Their website explains why: "From the days of rockabilly to modern alternative rock, Oklahomans have made significant contributions to the history and evolution of Rock & Roll."

The list of ten nominees, picked by an open nomination process already ended, supposedly accepted only songs "written or performed by an Oklahoman." One song by the Ventures is included partially because "Oklahoman Bob Bogle suggested the band cover the song." A cover.

The Failed Bands of Oklahoma are enraged that no failed bands are included in the list.

Hence, the FBO offers a more suitable late entry than a Ventures cover. FBO Member #001 Tall Tales is a failed Oklahoma band with several Oklahoma-themed songs, including 'Heck No.' In 2006, the FBO induced Tall Tales to record a fake three-long live EP called "Live in a Place in Oklahoma" which featured the song "A Place in Oklahoma."

THE FBO NOMINATES FBO #001 TALL TALES' "A Place in Oklahoma"

--> Otherwise, there's no choice but to vote for Leon Russell's 'Home Sweet Oklahoma," for recognizing that "Alabama" rhymes, more or less, with Oklahoma.

Acknowledgment to Tom Caw for finding the contest.

FBO Admin
Mobile HQ -- Sozopol, Bulgaria

Thursday, September 04, 2008

FBO: 'Oklahoma City Basketball Club'

The Failed Bands of Oklahoma have recorded a special response to news that the OKC BC (Oklahoma City Basketball Club) of the NBA has chosen 'Thunder' for its name:

FBO Admin
Mobile HQ -- Shipka Pass, Bulgaria

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

FBO: 'In Bulgaria'

The FBO is again undergoing a 'fact-finding mission' across the EU's Bulgaria over the next four weeks. So far, the program has reached the northwest corner of Bulgaria -- sticking like a little thorn between Romania and Serbia, several hours northwest of Sofia. Few go, but it's quite interesting.

More on Bulgaria is here.

FBO Admin
Mobile HQ -- Veliko Tarnovo, Bulgaria