Friday, June 20, 2008

FBO: 'FBO Induces New Failed Band Site!'


FBO's successes over the past three years have been manifest:

* cultural symposia with Bulgaria, Romania, Russia, Myanmar, Vietnam and Chicago
* adopting places like the Oklahoma panhandle, East Delaware and Székelyudvarhely
* banning bio-pics, TV remakes and sequels in the quest for more original, less 'dumb-downed' past-time leisure activities
* creating FBO projects such as Member #001's EP 'A Place in Oklahoma (Live)' and the video premiere of 'The FBO Is Falling In Love'
* setting tentative plans for a failed bands show in Guymon, Oklahoma in October

Now the FBO have one-upped themselves, by inspiring and inducing a website collective of failed bands called For Those Who Tried to Rock.

Their mission reads:

"Our goal is to capture data about every band to have been formed by teens with that perfect mixture of big dreams and questionable talent in suburban garages, high school music rooms, and college dorms across America."

The FBO grants this a THREE-AND-A-HALF FBO PANHANDLE rating (out of five). While the documentative gesture towards the failures of the past warrants praise, we would have preferred to see some sort of 'forward direction' -- ie not solely for nostalgic purposes, or humor certainly -- and to draw the line with bands that played -- to quote the FBO mission statement -- a 51% ratio of original songs.

. Certain bands may be elgible TO PLAY. Please contact the FBO at if you have any questions.

FBO Admin
Mobile HQ -- Yuzhno-Sakhalinsk, Russia

** FTWTTR Finder's acknowledgment: Wendy Smith, of California**

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

FBO: 'Christian Rock Band, Invited to Attend (Not Perform)'

Vladivostok's main pedestrian crawl, named for an Admiral Fokina and usually just called the 'Arbat' here, is a grafitti-filled strip where cars parked on the ped-only road and the city chose gray for the color of brick. The other day I saw an old man, apparently quite drunk for the past 11 years, bleeding from his face, and some drugged-out people hang out on benches during the day. Perhaps one of them was featured in an album cover of a bloodied person shooting heroin I saw at a CD shop recently, a local band recommended by a tall clerk who hated me. It was called 'Masters of Defecation.'

It was in this relatively harmless place (actually), that a Christian Rock Band set up the other day. For a large crowd, they had mothers with children come and profess their faith before launching into a song 'God is Great' (I think). The bass player sang. A woman played a wooden flute that piped too loudly into a mic. A Korean guitar played sly guitar parts. The drummer gave those awkward laughs to the keyboard player bending over his instrument -- one of their first shows.

The FBO adopts KRISTYEN ROK GRUP: KHOROSHO ('good') to the FBO Guymon show on October 20. They cannot play.

In other news, Terry Waska may now attend FBO functions.

FBO Admin
Mobile HQ -- Vladivostok, Russia

Monday, June 16, 2008

FBO: 'Needing Guymon Performance Space'


The Failed Bands of Oklahoma is now accepting applications for a venue site for the October 20 FBO show in Guymon. We're hoping for something with a raised stage, access to a PA, preferably quick-opening/closing curtains, and some sort of seating arrangement that allows for easy mixing.

Please note this sample shot, taken at the Nakhodka Museum, Russia, next to an exhibit that included a bullet-shot up Union Jack, a happy banner (untouched) from Oakland, and photos of a bearded local who biked across Siberia in winter.

FBO Admin
Mobile HQ -- Nakhodka, Russia
Posted by Picasa

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

FBO: 'Tall Tales Offers Sample Setlist'


The October show in the panhandle is starting to take shape now that Tall Tales has submitted a potential 10-song set list.

1. True
2. CEO
3. New Worry Day
4. Your Lake
5. Ed/This Song's Not About Love [medley]
6. Falkon Flies
7. Fiction
8. UFO
9. Hee Haw
10. Ways to Stay

Sample setlists may be changed, though two songs from the sample MUST be retained for the final setlist.

FBO Admin
Mobile HQ -- Vladivostok, Russia
Posted by Picasa

Friday, June 06, 2008

FBO: 'There Will Be Russian Posts Here'

Over on this FBO-induced blog, there will be posts from FBO member Robert Reid during the FBO Symposium to Russia.

More things about Russian bands will appear here.

FBO Admin
Mobile HQ -- Vladivostok, Russia

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

FBO: 'Announcement! FBO Launches Biggest FBO Event of Its History'


Good and less good news.

First of all the PANHANDLE SHOW -- presently scheduled for July 14 -- has to be delayed until October 20. Part of the reasons include some acts not having set lists submitted in time, and also a low showing at the FBO Event in Chicago last week. The FBO feels STRONGLY that the October 20 date WILL happen.

FBO members, please don't put off tabbing up your setlists till the last minute.

The better news is that all FBO OBSERVERS and FBO MEMBERS -- except Terry Waska, who cannot attend FBO Events for another week -- are invited to join the SEVEN-WEEK OPEN SYMPOSIUM to Russia's Far East. The trip, to spread awareness of failed bands and recruit failed bands for the show in October, will cover much of Russia's broad eastern areas -- from Petropavlovsk (near Alaska) and Vladivostok (near North Korea) to Yakutsk (toward the Arctic Circle) and Lake Baikal (not far from Mongolia).

You are welcome to come, all expenses paid.

Please show up at New York's JFK by 6.30pm tonight to go. Otherwise, read reports from the symposium here.

FBO Admin
Mobile/Semi-Permanent HQ -- Brooklyn, NY

Monday, June 02, 2008

FBO: 'Evidence of Chicago FBO Event'

For those who require proof: