FBO: 'Clears Mark Knopfler'

NO BAN

A few weeks ago Mark Freuder Knopfler, who studied journalism and has a dinosaur named after him, was under consideration for a ban for spelling and pronunciation errors, and questionable use of headbands and shameless video tactics. The one-week investigation, part of the FBO's first and last Mark Knopfler Week, was prompted by FBO's Top Fan, and received much backlash from FBO observers.

The FBO has decided not to ban Mark because of the distance he keeps between himself and his works. In 2000, Mark told the New York Post his secrets for songwriting:

"I let the song be the boss. That's it. You treat a song like a person and do the right thing by it. Say, if a song didn't want any guitars on it, there wouldn't be any guitars, but if the song wants a concrete mixer, I'll give it that."

Perhaps, then, the blame regarding his errors is out of his hands? It is the songs -- 'Expresso Love,' the regrettable 'Walk of Life' -- that are to be blamed.


FBO Admin
Mobile/Semi-Permanent HQ -- Brooklyn, NY

FBO: 'Mark Knopfler Week (Part III)'

**NEW VIDEO RESPONSE TO FBO'S COMBATIVE READER!**
The Failed Bands of Oklahoma puts Mr Ano Nymous of Calgary -- who posted here on Monday -- on two-week probation. If another such incident occurs in this period, Mr Nymous will be immediately banned for two years.

The FBO hasn't made a decision regarding the potential ban of Britain's Mark Knopfler in the wake of this new crisis.

As far as the suggested 'Rich Trott ban' that Mr Nymous started, the FBO has created the following:





In other news, Kevin Proctor -- formerly of Tulsa, OK -- turns 40 today.


FBO Admin
Mobile/Semi-Permanent HQ -- Brooklyn, NY

FBO: 'Continues Mark Knopfler Week (Part II)'

TROLLING FOR FEEDBACK: BAN OR NO?

Mark Knopfler's dyslexic tendencies regarding speech on Making Movies -- as referenced by Rich Trott on Monday –- is nothing compared to the tenacity shown in the band's 1985 record Brothers in Arms.

On this album, the most belligerently head-banded band in the world upped the ante in self-marketing shamelessness when they recruited Sting (a popular Brit singer in the US) to name-drop MTV for a skeptical American audience (and skeptical MTV) in 'Money For Nothing' -- which used pre-Schwab animation. It got worse for the follow-up single 'Walk of Life' -- a fake-Springsteen romp, complete with the same carnival keyboards that sickened the Boss' misunderstood 'Born in the USA' song from the year before, AND the British band even had the gall to sample 'funny', exclusively American, sports images to delight young, impressionable American audiences. No Arsenal/Manchester United footage, no rugby, no thrown cricket wickets.

Typically, the public bought it.

What's worse is the rhythm guitarist: barefoot and wearing a marmot-hammock-sized headband. 'It was the '80s' is no excuse. Please see the 1:50 to 1:52 mark of the video below, and also note how the first image of Mark Knopfler is putting on a head band to keep his last remaining hairs in check. Weird guys. Weird British guys.



Trott may be onto something here.


FBO Admin
Mobile/Semi-Permanent HQ -- Brooklyn, NY

FBO: 'Presents Mark Knopfler Week (Part I)'

OPEN FORUM: SHOULD KNOPFLER BE BANNED?
Rich Trott -- FBO Top Fan, San Franciscan, and Palace Family Steakhouse front-man -- has suggested the FBO ban Mark Knopfler. We're looking into this and will post a decision by the end of Mark Knopfler Week, this Friday. But we must have your feedback:

--> Why or why not do you think Mark Knopfler should be banned?

Rich writes:

You need to ban Mark Knopfler for serial mispronunciation on the album Making Movies. He not only misspells espresso in the title, "Expresso Love" but he goes on to mispronounce the word the same way he misspells it. Adding insult to injury, Knopfler pronounces the trailing s in the French article of "Les Boys"! All I can ever think of when I listen to the record is, "Damn, why hasn't this clown been the recipient of a solid FBO ban yet?!"

Clearly Mark has some issues with Italians and French people (but apparently none with wearing headbands on stage).



A few other things to consider:

* Mark is left-handed but plays a right-handed guitar -- which may be why he tends to finger-pick his guitar
* He formed Dire Straits with his brother David Trott Knopfler
* He agreed to do the soundtrack for Princess Bride only if director Rob Rich Reiner put a hat from This is Spinal Tap somewhere in the film (it's in Fred Savage's room)
* His solo song 'Sailing to Philadelphia' is sung by James Taylor and is about the blokes behind the Mason-Dixon Line


READING MATERIAL
Meanwhile, FBO member Robert Reid wrote about Naypyidaw -- that new capital of Burma highlighted last week here -- for Perceptive Travel online magazine.



FBO Admin
Mobile/Semi-Permanent HQ -- Brooklyn, NY


**REAL-TIME VIDEO UPDATE: RESPONSE TO BACKLASH**
The FBO has made an official statement regarding the mass criticism over Rich Trott's comments, released an hour ago in the above post: