Monday, May 26, 2008

FBO: 'Presenting FBO Event Week: Speaking Out Against Russian Communists & Indy Jones'

FBO EVENT BI-WEEK: Event #001
--> BY COINCIDENCE, the FBO announces a one-week plan of daily FBO Events that coincides with FBO member Terry Waska's two-week suspension from all FBO events...


This weekend marked the bad awakening of an old hero -- Indiana Jones -- in a somewhat exciting, yet flat makeover of an archeology professor victimized by the Red Scare in late '50s America and taking a tangent behind a kid that picks him out of train full of passengers to chase down El Dorado. It's making its millions despite a few key flaws -- and an ongoing FBO ban against remakes, sequels and bio-pics. And the film has infuriated the St Petersburg wing of the ongoing Russian Communist Party, who has decried stars Harrison Ford and Cate Blanchett, for mocking the US/Soviet relationship which defeated fascism in unity.



Certainly the movie is flawed and poor -- this factual information was gleaned from a two-hour, research-oriented suspension of the ongoing FBO ban of remakes/sequels/biopics -- and we appreciate that this Russian Communist Party branch has taken notice of the FBO ban such remakes, but in this case the energy taken against the film (as pictured above) misses the main point. Rather than take issue with a cartoon depiction of Soviets during the Cold War, the RCP would do more service to focus on the offenses:

* cynical remake to cash in on a career in crisis (H Ford)
* bizarre intro with car race in desert that has nothing to do with the film (easily worst Indy Jones opening)
* the gulag-trained Soviet soldiers allowing a feel-good reunion of Indiana and his old girlfriend in the Amazonian jungle (see Godfather III for why this doesn't work)
* on a couple occasions, Indy is enigmatically helpful with Soviets searching out 'the X' on the map
* Cate Blanchett portrays a Ukrainian psyche major with a sword with an Australian-German accent and a 1930s' Berlin haircut
* uneccessary triple-agent plot twists (just shoot the guy, like you did in Raiders)
* alien crystal skulls? really?

Thus, the FBO will hold a MOMENT OF CONFUSION by protesting the Russian Communist Party's, with banners, outside Toby Keith's I Love this Bar & Grill in Oklahoma City's Bricktown, and simultaneously encourage visitors to skip the Indiana Jones movie at the nearby Harkins Bricktown Cinemas 16 (150 East Reno).

It will occur from 2pm to 2:15pm Wednesday, May 28. Bring your own banners and handouts. Note: Terry Waska may not attend.


FBO Admin
Mobile/Semi-Permanent HQ -- Brooklyn, NY

3 comments:

WASKA_THE_ROCKER said...

I'll go see the movie instead.

Bronc said...

If Terry can't go, then I'm not coming either.

Damn.

THE FBO said...

Actually that communist-hater of Indiana Jones looks a lot like Hillary Clinton.