Tuesday, August 15, 2006

FBO: 'Who Won Super Bowl I?'

Fact: North Carolina and Ohio hate each other and have been fighting over their respective links to the Wright Brothers' historic flight from 1903. North Carolina -- where Putt Putt was invented, Blackbeard settled with his 14th wife, Michael Jordan was born -- has long adopted 'First in Flight' as its motto, adorning its sky-blue and white license plates; Ohio rebutted with 'Birthplace of Aviation,' as the Wright Brothers designed and built their planes, and made early experiments in their home in Dayton.



Who's right?

Consider this question: who won Super Bowl I in 1967 when the Green Bay Packers defeated the Kansas City Chiefs, 35-10? Green Bay? Well, if you support North Carolina, you are WRONG. Because the game was arbitrarily held in Los Angeles, LA then 'won' Super Bowl I. Per North Carolinian reasoning, Dallas and San Francisco and Chicago and New York and Denver and Green Bay and Pittsburgh have NEVER won the Super Bowl, while New Orleans has won eight titles, Los Angeles six, San Diego three, Houston two, even Minnesota, Arizona and Detroit have won one.

According to North Carolina the achievement has NOTHING to do with the players/teams/engineers/bicycle-repairmen on the field, but the setting of the field. Green Bay won in LA? LA is the champion. Einstein figured out E=MC[squared] in Phoenix? Phoenix is the genius. Britain defeats Napoleon at Waterloo? Thus BELGIUM conquers France. JFK is assassinated in Dallas? Forget Oswald or your conspiracy theories, TEXAS killed the president.

The Wrights only picked Kitty Hawk, North Carolina, from the recommendation of the US Weather Bureau. They were, paraphrasing here, 'looking for a lonely, sandy, windy place where no one will be in the way and nothing's going on -- not the sort of place we'd ever really want to spend time on our own.' The WB immediately replied, 'North Carolina.

--> The FBO sides with Ohio on this. The FBO encourages North Carolina to change their license plate, state motto immediately -- phasing out all old ones by mandate. Perhaps they could focus on the natural beauty of the state or Blackbeard.


FBO Admin
Mobile/Semi-Permanent HQ -- Brooklyn, NY

3 comments:

Alan De-Mulletized said...

I'm gonna call a draw, or a tie if you will. We used to have ties in college football, sometimes miss them. Ties keep it interesting. In a way keep it more FBOish. No one wins, in affect they both fail. So, yes the flying machine was invented in Ohio, the first time a human flew through the air for more than x-number of feet was indeed in NC! I'm a bit partial because I go there every year just south of Kittyhawk for vacation, for the very same reason that the Wright brothers went there, wide open spaces, good inland breezes, very few people. Am planning to go to the monument site next month. It happened there, they should keep the slogan. Ohio can have theirs too but only as a consolation prize, they lost their claim to anything when they couldn't come through with a Bush defeat in 2004.

Waska the Rocker said...

Alan - you're full of shit. I've never visited either state, and care naught for either. I say give it to Ohio. However, if you go there next month, be sure and get a picture of you at the monument. It will be worth lots of $$$ after it's bulldozed and the state fined for false advertising.
Which Is why I love Oklahoma's grand motto: "Oklahoma is OK". We're not saying we kick ass or anything, just that we're OK. Even people that hate Oklahoma could come here and find something that they would consider "OK". Set the bar low, mediocrity is fine.

Waska the Rocker said...

You do get a point for the Bush comment though...