Monday, February 18, 2008

FBO: 'Multiple Bans Regarding Nostalgic Auto Race Enthusiasts'

BANS OF THE WEEK

Yesterday Ryan 'I Love FLA' Newman won the 2008 Daytona 500, aka the 'Great American Race.' Pre-race hype likened the event to the 'Super Bowl of auto racing.' The FBO has neutral feelings towards the 'sport,' but would like to point out that the Daytona 500, or Indy 500, or whatever race you can think of, has serious competition with a certain, overblown 100-year-old race known as the 'Greatest Auto Race on Earth.' This 22,000-mile race lasted 169 days in a trans-global, testo-and-gas-fuelled crusade from New York, through Siberia, to Paris.

THE FBO BANS REMEMBRANCES OF THE 1908 RACE

In this week's predictably over-exaggerated praise of an event that featured a half-dozen auto-makers trying to show off their products, it should be noted that the winner -- the American Thomas Flyer -- finished second in real time, then won in a technicality. (The Germans cheated.)

What offends FBO and FBO fans is the snub the Thomas Flyer gave towards the USA's new state, Oklahoma. Oklahoma became the 46th state three months before the race set off -- yet the car (crossing winter roadways with no windshield or top) carried a 45-star flag the whole way.

--> Please take a moment to compare the differences between the 45-star flag (above left) with the 46-star flag (above right).

It's been explained, rather unconvincingly, that the Automobile Association of America provided the flag and copies of the new 46-star flags 'were not yet available.' Come again? It takes 90 days to make a flag? Talk to Ross about it, geniuses. Purportedly, Betsy Ross needed a month at the most to make hers. BY HAND. One website explains: "According to Betsy Ross's dates and sequence of events, in May [1776] the Congressional Committee called upon her at her shop. She finished the flag either in late May or early June 1776."

--> It should be noted that Betsy lost TWO husbands during the Revolutionary War!? And that New Jersian Francis Hopkinson -- who had invoices to prove the point -- maintains he created the first US flag! More on this key issue, and a possible Betsy Ross ban, to come...

As the centennial moment of the race start-date -- Feb 12, 1908 -- came this week, overly piano-syruped, self-congratulatory reports showered on an automobile-centric nation. Note the video below when Kerrie Long, the video's producer, says 'Man, machine, geography, distance, time - had all come together in this one terrific story.' Terrific as in bigoted, disrespectful and non-inclusive? Nice try Kerrie.




THE FBO BANS KERRIE LONG FROM USING THIS SITE FOR TWO YEARS


Meanwhile, the National Automobile Museum in Reno, Nevada, is celebrating the event with their ongoing exhibit through January 2009.

THE FBO BANS THE NATIONAL AUTOMOBILE MUSEUM UNTIL FEBRUARY 2009

Read about the event in the New York Times, whose author Jerry Garrett neglects to mention that the 45-star flag snubs Oklahoma.

THE FBO BANS JERRY GARRETT FROM USING THIS SITE UNTIL AN APOLOGY IS MADE

Lastly, online gift shops -- and surely the Reno museum -- are selling copies of the Thomas Flyer as a memorabilia keepsake. For $120! The description proudly touts -- without mention of Oklahoma -- that it flies a 45-star flag. See it here.

ALL SHOPS SELLING THE THOMAS FLYER ARE BANNED FOR ONE YEAR

The FBO awaits apologies and explanations from key figures in this anti-Oklahoma celebration. Moreover the FBO holds out hope for a nation and world where everyone treats each others equally. With respect, people!


FBO Admin
Mobile/Semi-Permanent HQ -- Brooklyn, NY

5 comments:

Trott said...

Pretty good bans--appropriately broad and inclusive--but there are still some people out there in need of a long overdue FBO banning. You need to ban Mark Knopfler for serial mispronunciation on the album Making Movies. He not only misspells espresso in the title, "Expresso Love" but he goes on to mispronounce the word the same way he misspells it. Adding insult to injury, Knopfler pronounces the trailing s in the French article of "Les Boys"! All I can ever think of when I listen to the record is, "Damn, why hasn't this clown been the recipient of a solid FBO ban yet?!"

ReidOnTravel said...

Good point! Mark Knopfler is not someone in danger of joining FBO's adoptee list, that's for sure. One of the most offensive moments in his career is his acoustic plucking in Bob Dylan's rare song 'Blind Willie McTell.' After six or so minutes of following along Dylan's piano and lyric, the songs wraps up, but Mark -- overly self-aware once again -- can't help but to add a little harmonic flourish that all but rooms six minutes of beauty.

The FBO plans to edit this version as 'Blind Willie McTell [Non-Offensive Mix -- Knopfler Cut]' and post in the near future.

We'll be looking into Making Movies as well...

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