Tuesday, December 16, 2008

FBO: 'Why Don't Future-Failed Bands Talk with Us More?'

BROTHERS, SISTERS! STOP THE VIOLENCE!
Budding new bands miss out on an untapped resource for plotting out how to name their band, design promotional materials, think of themes for songs, and where to insert guitar solos: failed bands.

The FBO is always available to offer for free consultation to new future-failed bands.


The 'digital revolution' of recent years -- with Garage Band mini-studios on every Mac, YouTube.com and blogs to post videos and MP3s -- essentially allows more people to be 'in a band' and write/record music than every before. Even ten years ago, perhaps 15, you really had to want to be in a band -- now just tap the fake-sax on your keyboard.

It's good, but leads to a bunch of junk too.

One thing that caught the FBO eye is teenage Italian goth-metal band Soul Cry, who had two members (an 18-year-old singer and her 16-year-old brother) STAB the guitarist 50 times for 'playing badly' in rehearsal (see story). Unbelievably, the guitarist is doing OK.

The FBO appreciates the band's attention to detail, but only wishes that Soul Cry had contacted us first. Stabbing bandmembers is a no-go.

FBO Admin
Mobile/Semi-Permanent HQ -- Brooklyn, NY

2 comments:

Bronc said...

This is precisely the reason I don't play an instrument: I would be stabbed. Perhaps only 30 times, but still.

pseudosu said...

OMFG!-- I should really consider getting those plastic shower DOORS to avoid falling victim to this kind of attack. (Of course I'd have to wonder- was it really provoked by a lack-luster performance, or a jealous rage?)